There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $ 3 million apiece severance with the following stipulations:

 1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
                                                                                                                       
2) They all  buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
                                                                                                                       
 3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

 Total amount committed -$120 billion -- Considerably less than the "stimulus package".

Which way is the bus below traveling?  To the left or to the right?

Can't make up your mind? Look carefully at the picture again.
Pre-schoolers all over the United States were shown this picture asked the same question.
90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer. "The bus is traveling to the left."
When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?"
They answered:  "Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."
How  do  you  feel  now  ???
 

Sharon, a regular visitor from Louisiana sent this along for prom season...

  Dad makes prom dress out of condoms. This is just too funny not to share!!! About the time you thought you had seen it all, here's a 'safe sex' dress! Pretty original, to say the least...

No virus was found in this message. My computer used one of the condoms.

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.  -Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise . -Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.  -Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.  -Mark Twain

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.  -Phil Pastoret

   Corey Friedrich, Havana resident currently deployed in Afghanistan sent me the following, Thanks Corey...

   Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing blue every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority' We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing.

   Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something blue. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of blue much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in BLUE and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

   The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is .'We need your support and your prayers.' Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear something blue every Friday.

   When 2nd Lt.. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport , Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac.

   During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport , Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful: 'See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home,' he said 'They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should.'
 

   The night before the burial of her husband's body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of 'Cat,' and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. 'I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,' she said. 'I think that's what he would have wanted'
 

Hi  Ted,

    I know you deal with the newspapers somewhat so I wanted to give you a little information on internet dating that I learned about.  There are a lot, and I mean a LOT of scammers out there!! But there is a site I found by accident that helped me a lot!!!  Its called Internet-love-scams.org. If you know of anyone that does online dating or is thinking about online dating, let them know about it. Also, these scammers go to sites like Facebook, myspace and others and take peoples family pictures and personal pictures to post on dating sites as their own. Please let people know that they should be careful about posting family pictures on public sites!!  My first tip-off to this scam was that the person emailing me could not use correct English grammar even though they claimed to have a Master’s degree!! Then he quickly started calling me hun, dear, and started telling me how much he loved me!! (RED FLAG!!!) Most of these scams come from Nigeria from what I can figure out and they use pictures of nice looking Americans to make their profile more plausible. Please let people know so they can be aware of how widespread this thing is. Especially lonely, gullible people with money. They are very good targets. 

Havana, Illinois