Parents are the most effective force  in preventing their teens from abusing substances. Teenagers whose parents have discussions with them about alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs are about 50% less likely to abuse them. Also, if teens think they are likely to get caught and be held accountable by their parents then they are significantly less likely to be tempted to try them.

If you have a teenager then you’ve probably done your share of worrying about the potential risks. The thought of your teenager doing something as potentially dangerous as abusing cough medication is scary, and something you hope you don’t even have to worry about. But sometimes even really good kids make poor choices without thinking about consequences.

Let’s face it, as teens get older they increasingly have more influences that we may not want them to have. But the good news is that no matter old teens get, parents still have the most potential to influence them. Here’s what you can do:

TALK:               

   Teenagers whose parents have discussions with them about alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs are about 50% less likely to abuse them. If you’re finding it difficult to talk with your teen, or maybe he or she doesn’t act interested in talking, sometimes the best way to get the conversation going is by asking your teen what other kids are doing. They sometimes feel more comfortable talking about others than they do themselves. Another way to get the conversation started includes using television or other forms of media. If you see an anti-drug message, or maybe a television episode about drug use, it could be a good time to talk about it. You might even start by asking your teen if he or she has read the information on this site about DXM abuse. Here are some tips for talking:

            Encourage conversation: Listen to what your teen has to say. He or she will be more likely to be in tune with what you’re saying in a conversation than if your teen was listening to you lecture. And, what they have to say will open things up for more discussion on things that concern you.

            Ask open ended questions: Avoid asking yes or no questions.  Instead, ask how he or she feels or thinks about an issue. Asking open-ended questions is a good way to keep the conversation moving and your teen involved in the discussion.

            Control your emotions: If your child says something you don’t like then take a deep breath, stay calm, and acknowledge your feelings. Staying calm will make your child feel more comfortable opening up to you. And, one of the best ways for your child to learn to control his or her emotions is for you to model controlling yours.

            Respect your teen’s opinions: Your teen will be more likely to respect your opinions if you respect his or hers. Your teen doesn’t have to share every one of your opinions, but the more you respect your teen’s opinions and clearly communicate yours, the more likely your teen’s opinions will end up matching yours.

Click here for more helpful tips on talking with your teen: www.timetotalk.org

SET CLEAR RULES AND CONSEQUENCES:

   It may seem to parents that teens should know that substance use is not allowed and not acceptable. But teenage life is filled with mixed messages. They’re at a stage where they’re feeling increased freedom and a desire to explore. Sometimes the only way for them to know for sure what is and isn’t acceptable to explore is for you tell them. Some reasons teens might get mixed messages are:

¨      They sometimes hear adults tell stories about their own negative behavior as teens and think if Mom or Dad did it, it must be okay.

¨      They watch movies that glorify teenage rebellion against the rules and may see that as a model for their own life.

¨      They hear other teens tell stories about doing risky things and feel like they need to do those things too in order to fit in.

   It’s important for you to lay down the boundaries so they don’t have to guess. It makes them feel more comfortable. Be sure to take these steps:

   Clearly state your expectations: Don’t leave anything to chance. Tell your teen exactly what you do not want her or him to do.

   Set consequences: Decide ahead of time what consequences you will enforce for your teen if specific rules are broken, and be sure your teen knows them. For example, what privileges will he or she lose and for how long? Knowing exactly what will happen if the rules are broken makes it easier for your teen to think about the future before making a choice.

   Enforce the consequences: Teens are very persuasive and parents want to believe their teens when they say it won’t happen again. But if you let the consequences slide one time, your teen may think that you really aren’t serious about your rules and may be less likely to think about the future before making a choice next time.

MONITOR:

   One of the best strategies to prevent your teen from using substances is to know what is going on in your teen’s life. As you’re probably finding out, this gets trickier as your teen grows up. He or she has more freedom and might have a larger circle of friends, some of which might not even be in the same age group. But it’s important to stay active in your teen’s life. Staying active doesn’t mean you don’t trust your teen, but it does show your teen that you care. And if your teen feels you are aware of what’s going on in his or her life, then he or she feels less tempted to do something they know you do not want them to do. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Where and with who: Know where your teen is and who your teen is with when he or she is not at home. The Havana high school students have open lunches, which might seem to complicate this a little. But, be sure to tell your teen where he or she is allowed to go during lunch. If your teen has a cell phone then call to check in. Again, this doesn’t mean you don’t trust your teen, but it shows that you care.

Ask questions: Ask your teen about his or her day, or about the movie he or she went to. Being interested and concerned will increase the chances your teen thinks about you when he or she is offered a chance to do something against the rules. And, you’ll learn things that can help you more closely guide your teen’s life.

Friends: Know who your teen’s friends are. Ask to meet them. When alone with your teen ask questions about these friends.

Parents: Knowing your teen’s friend’s parents is a great way for your teen and your teen’s friends to feel like they’re less likely to get away with something they’re not allowed to do. And again, this takes away some of their temptations.

Click here for more helpful tips from parents: http://www.drugfree.org/Parent 

TRACK OR LOCK UP MEDICINE:

   Many teens that first experiment with DXM may get it from the medicine cabinets in their own homes. Those who get their first dose somewhere else will certainly be checking out the medicine cabinet at home if they decide to try DXM again. Imagine your teen having easy access to an illegal street drug; scary thought, right? DXM is as deadly and addictive as most illegal drugs. Unfortunately, because it’s a medication that has an important role in our society, it’s found nearly everywhere including the place that is supposed to be the safest for our teens: their own homes. You have two options: keep track of everything you have, including the number of capsules, or lock it up. Even if you believe it to be safe and secure around your teens, it’s still not a bad idea to lock it up. Some teens around Havana are befriending other teens to get into their homes and into their medicine cabinets. Your teen should feel comfortable knowing he or she can’t be wrongly accused of stealing your medication. If you do leave it unlocked then it would be good to ask your teen to check with you before using any of it. Asking your teen to check with you before using any over-the-counter medications is a good way to more closely monitor the medication in your home.

   Click here to learn more about keeping your teen free from prescription and over-the-counter medication abuse: http://www.theantidrug.com/drug_info/prescription_dangerZones.asp

CONNECT WITH OTHER PARENTS:

   By staying in contact with other parents you’re increasing the number of adult authority figures in your teen’s life. As a result, your teen may be more conscientious about how he or she acts around friends and around the community. And, they’ll feel like they’re more likely to get caught doing something against the rules. It’s not uncommon for teens to object to you communicating with their friends’ parents. They want more freedom as they get older and they will often remind you of that. But, staying in contact with other parents is not limiting their freedom to develop into adults. Instead, it allows for them to develop healthier. It also shows that you care. You should let them know you’re doing it because you care, not because you don’t trust them. Here are some things to keep in mind:

     Talk with other parents: Whether you meet them in person, talk on the phone, or talk when you run into each other at the grocery store, it is important to talk. If your teen is going to stay the night at a friend’s house then call to make sure parents will be there. If your teen knows you won’t call to check, then they’ll be more tempted to do something behind your back by simply saying they’re staying the night at a friend’s house.

      Ask them to inform you about concerns: Parents are sometimes hesitant to let other parents know when they’ve seen teens doing something wrong. You can assuage their concerns by being open and asking them to inform you if they do see your teen doing something wrong. It will strengthen your bond with that parent and reduce some of your teen’s temptations to do things you would not approve of when they are not around you.  

     Inform them if you catch their teen doing something wrong: You would want to know if your teen did something wrong, and chances are, so do they. If you don’t know the parent very well, it might be important to stick with the facts and explain that you’re concerned. They will likely repay the favor. Besides, their teen could potentially be influencing your teen or your teen’s friends.

     Share your concerns and opinions about your teen: Teens can be very persuasive, whether they’re accusing you of not trusting them or they’re telling you that all of the other parents are okay with it. It can be difficult to think through their arguments without letting your feelings of frustration get in the way. Call other parents and talk it over. You probably won’t be surprised to find out you’re not the only parent who feels the way you do about an issue. Sometimes you’ll find they’re relieved to hear that another parent feels the same they do. And, strength in numbers will allow you and them to feel more confident amidst your teens’ arguments.

ROLE MODEL:

   As parents, you already know how important it is to be a good role model in front of your teens. However, sometimes we do things that we feel are acceptable behaviors, but are actually things that send a message we don’t want our teens to have. They don’t always have the same perceptions of our behaviors as we do. For example, don’t take more medicine than the recommended dose and don’t take medication every time you think you might potentially get a headache. Otherwise, it could be sending the false message that because a pharmaceutical company made it, it is safe to use whenever and take more than recommended doses. Also, don’t drink beer as a way to deal with your stress in front of your teen. He or she can get the impression that it is okay to use chemicals to deal with problems.

KNOW THE FACTS:

   You would be surprised if you found out how many things your teen knows about drugs that you do not know. Sometimes, part of the problem in keeping youth drug free is that things change so fast it’s difficult to keep up on what’s going on. It could be happening right under your nose simply because your not informed. Very few parents in Havana knew about over-the-counter medication abuse before Havana teens overdosed on it. Over-the-counter medication abuse is a growing trend across the country. In fact, over-the-counter medication abuse is more common today among our teens in the U.S. than every other drug except for alcohol and marijuana. But if you ask parents outside of Mason County about it, you’ll find that most parents still don’t know about this new drug abuse trend. We’re doing our part by getting information to you about this problem but we can’t get you information about everything. You can talk to your teen about what he or she is hearing at school or elsewhere from other teens. You can also look for information on other websites or talk to law enforcement about local drug trends. Staying informed about drug facts and signs of drug abuse will help you more easily identify problems with your teen or with other teens.

Click here to find out more about drug use: http://www.theantidrug.com/drug_info

WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR TEEN IS ABUSING SUBSTANCES:

   With nearly 1 out of 5 Havana teens reporting that they abused over the counter medications and more reporting they used alcohol or marijuana, there’s a possibility that your teen has already tried something even if you haven’t caught your teen doing it. If we were to ask parents how many of them thought their teens were abusing over the counter medications or other drugs, the percentage of parents who say, “Yes” will be significantly smaller than the percentage of teens that are actually doing it.  If you have suspicion that your teen is abusing substances, then don’t ignore it. There could be a reason you have that suspicion. If you have a spouse in the family, then share and discuss your concerns with him or her. You might also call a teacher or another parent to discuss your reasons for your suspicion. Acting on your suspicion can sometimes be difficult. Parents want to trust their teens. But, they also want them to be safe. The first step is to ask your teen. Keeping an open line of communication with your teen is a significant part of keeping them drug free. Have your reasons for suspicion ready to discuss. Do not ask when you don’t have your teen’s attention. Otherwise you’ll be left feeling blown off. It isn’t the right time to ask your teen when he or she is on the way out the door for school. Show your concern for him or her and make it clear that the reason you’re asking is because you care.

Click here for more tips on dealing with your suspicion: http://www.timetoact.drugfree.org

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR TEEN IS ALREADY USING DXM OR OTHER DRUGS:

   If you already know that your teen has used substances, then it’s time to act. This can be a frightening time for you but don’t lessen your fears simply by hoping it was mere experimentation. The best way to prevent it from happening again is to deal with it appropriately the first time. Don’t blame yourself or your spouse. It was your teen that made the choice. Although this can be an emotional time for you, it’s important to stay calm. Fortunately, knowing about your teen’s substance use means you can do something about it. If you have a spouse in the family then talk it over with him or her. Make a decision in advance to stay united in front of your teen. Your teen will likely deny using the substance and might even try to cause disagreement between you and your spouse as an attempt to take the spotlight off him or her. Have your evidence ready to discuss. Again, your teen will likely deny it. So, sometimes the best tool you have is your memory. Think back and try to remember times when you recognized something that just didn’t seem quite right. Discuss these things with your spouse and try to piece it together before approaching your teen. Although your teen will likely respond with denial and anger, it’s important for you to maintain control of your emotions so you can stay focused and so you can help your teen calm down and talk. Explain the consequences with your teen and enforce the consequences all the way through. Remind your teen that you care about him or her and that you’re doing this because you’re concerned about his or her safety and health. Do not be afraid to seek outside help. If your teen has a recurring problem, then get counseling for your teen as soon as possible. If you don’t think you can afford counseling and you don’t have insurance that would cover it, then talk to a counselor about it. There is sometimes grant money available to help teens get the substance abuse help they need. If paid counseling is not an option, then talk to someone else you think can help, such as a pastor.